I had a crazy dream last night…

Leo: Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don’t worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
me: i understand but dont
me: dude i had the most fucked up dream last night
it was almost as crazy as the nazi sotry
Leo: datails
me: ok, so somehow my mom was with my step dad, and i was with my sister……. and we were in rural ass pennsylvania
Leo: getting freaky?
me: next thing i knew we were in this guys house, which was huge… and it was in some sort of neighborhood
their was a castle like staircase going down to the basement… where their was dog fighting going on
Leo: houses r usually in neighnorhoods
me: … lots of pit bulls around, but they were nice
… next thing i knew me and my sis were in another room in the lower part of the house and there was a huge man down there with us
… i was like.. ok fuck this .. we need to get outta here, go home
he said, oh, youre not going anywhere
… i was like, uh, no.. i’m leaving, fuck you..
Leo: lol
me: and c’mon carrie lets go… he said wtheres no way youre leaving
i was like wtf , why not?
Leo: cause ur gay
me: he said, the centipede doesnt want you to leave
Leo: hahaha
me: so, i’m like ok… ok calm down
i can figure this out
Leo: lol
me: meanwhile, my mom and step dad are way upstairs i’m assuming with other henchmen and the centipede man
Leo: ur fucking insane
me: … so i start freaking out yelling at the guy and he comes at me
Leo: lol
the centipede or the huge dude
me: he knocks me down and quickly i pull out my gun shoot him in the fucking face
the big dude
his head explodes
my sister starts freaking out and the peopl e upstairs start yelling and coming downstairs
Leo: oh shit
me: i think the centipede man has drugged my parents or got them fucked up, so they were oblivious to all of this.
… so i grab my sister and start running
we find another way up through the house,… and i hide under the stairs…. this dude is creeping down em… so as soon as he gets on my level, i shoot him in the ankle
then he drops and i shoot him in the head
2 dead
out of i dont know how many…
then fast forward… i yell for my parents, no response… so i grab carrie and run outside… get in endo’s tundra and take off
endo somehow rolls up in another truck at the same time and has an arsenal of weapons
he kills everyone that comes out of the house like a video game
Leo: the end?
me: nope
somehow in the mix i got my legs blown off but they still work
and the centipede man finalyl catches up to us….
Leo: haha
me: i think bc we went back for my parents, who were fucked up
anyways, i think somehow we all got caught up and were in his lab and he started operating on us, but we broke free and escaped…
dont think we ever killed him, but i sure as shit didnt get my dad’s or anyone else’s ass sewn to my mouth that day
the end.
there were prolly lots of other parts i missed , but thats the just of it
… i woke up and was like, i need to go to the range.
practice my skills, then get a concealed permit
no ones sewin my face to anyones ass
Leo: u need to see a psychatrist
me: most likely
Leo: hahaha
me: i’m a pretty fucked up individual
Leo: yeah join the club
me: ijm not that worried about it
Leo: whacha doin pho lunch?
me: moston barket
and tater salad
5 fucking more hours
Leo: ooooohhhh…might change my mind now
me: then project iraqi freedom launches
Leo: project iraqi freedom in mexico
me: yeah
free John’Bs mind from his past
Leo: whens yo flight aunt nizzy
me: operation kill myself
tomorrow 10amer
coming oup to dulles, then cancun from there
flying from here to dulles
Leo: u just talked about urself in the third
me: oh and btw, you used my name like 100 times in our session sunday
Leo: yeah well did u cover it with the barking dog like i said
and yes that wont happen again
me: i know
i need to make a sign for myself, dont say fuck so much
Leo: who cares man
me: or names
Leo: shit
me: im like fuckin, fuck fucking this
to describe one thing
Leo: dropin the fombag b
me: no fag word
Leo: u were drunk
me: very little use of gay
i was drunk
or on my way
Leo: church
me: is chicken
anyway, next one will be much better
Leo: mmmmmmmm….fried chicken
me: love it
best thing darkies ever did
Leo: mmmmmmm…..chicken penis
google “chicken penis”
me: i’l get fired
Leo: no its like science and shit u’ll b fine
me: under image search, thats some funny shit
Leo: yeah check ur phone
me: that might be one of the grossest things ive ever seen
Leo: lol
me: worse than my dream
Leo: haha
i sent it to kev to and he ws like ew gross, wtf….lol
just sent to nick
me: hahaha
chickin dix
Leo: how the fuck can u just make a simple fucking pie chart in excel 2007? muther fucker this shouldnt b that hard
me: ummmm
Leo: f this im going to lunch


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